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Tonight Charley and I were watching a set of Johnny Carson DVD’s that we received from my mother-in-law last Christmas.  It was the first time we had gotten around to watching them, and what a treat.  I grew up watching Johnny Carson with my Dad and didn’t really understand his  humor like I do as an adult…of course.  It was wonderful to see Johnny crack himself up, along with the rest of the world.  And to see some stars when they were very, very young….not to mention Bill Clinton while he was still the Govenor of Arkansas.

Anyway, one of the guests said;

“I sometimes feel like the world is wearing a tuxedo, and I’m a pair of Brown Shoes.”

I have never heard the feeling of not fitting in described in such a wonderful way.  Charley and I laughed so hard.

I myself— am a pair of Teva sandals…

My husband loves finding gadgets on the internet. We have been very annoyed by the presence of flys in our apartment. We should have known this would be a problem as the previous owner had left a fly swatter behind in the kitchen

Anyway, we bought some of those gross sticky fly strips you see hanging in take out restaurants…and that helped a little. And then Charley found the “electric fly swatter”. And it works!!! We often laugh at the translated instructions that come with gadgets we order from the internet. Here are the directions for the swatter….

INSTRUCTIONS

1. INSTALL TWO 1.5V BATTERIES AS INDICATED ON THE BATTERY CASE.

2. TO KILL THE INSECT, HOLD THE HANDLE, TURN ON THE SWITCH AND WIELD THE SWATTER TO MAKE THE INSECTS TOUCH THE NET SURFACE.

3. AFTER TURNING ON THE SWITCH, THE LAMP LIGHTING BE CAREFUL NOT TO TOUCH THE NET SURFACE.

4. INSECTS KILLED ON THE SWATTER SURFACE CAN BE BRUSHED OFF OF SHAKEN OFF IMMEDIATELY. DO NOT USE WATER.

5. CHANGE THE BATTERIES WHILE THE VOLTAGE IS LOWER

6. CHILDREN BELOW 8 YEARS OLD NOT USE THE SWATTER.

It was only $9.95 and can be found HERE

   My morning commute begins at the 181st street A Train station.  If I’m on time I catch the train that arrives around 8:12 in the morning.  I have never known the trains to run on an exact schedule…mainly you can expect an A to arrive every 6 to 10 minutes.  

I hope to get a seat as I ride the train all the way to Brooklyn Heights, the first stop in Brooklyn, and it takes about 45 minutes when the train is running on schedule.

So, it’s Friday morning, I’m tired as it’s been a very busy week.  I get a seat…a middle seat…not the ideal seat but fine as I am tired.  Now there are a variety of different conductors with different styles — some rude, some nice, some all business–and then there is the 8:15am conductor.  I believe he’s from Trinidad…he has that lilty island accent…and often between 125th and 59th street he provides some commentary.  It’s always funny.  Whether it’s what to buy your sweetheart for Valentine’s Day or some other advice, it is kind of a nice break to a monotonous commute.

So, this brings me to the point of my post.  As I said, I was really tired Friday morning.  I got on the train, got a seat…middle…and thought about how I rather be in bed.   181, 175, 168, 145, 125…..the conductor comes on the speaker…

“Ladies and Gentleman”, “When you leave your air conditioned homes, to get on the air conditioned train, to go to your air conditioned office….please keep me in your thoughts next week”

We all pause…he pauses

“Next week I will be undergoing some very serious radiation treatment”

Again, we all pause…and some gasp as we all really like this conductor

“I will be going to my home island of Trinidad, to lay on the beach and soak up the rays….white sandy beaches….ocean breezes”

a sigh of relief….he’s okay…then after a brief pause he says

“Eat your heart out!!!”

The entire car erupts into laughter.  This man, the conductor, has done a very rare thing…make an entire car of otherwise gritty new yorkers, laugh.  It was wonderful. 

Right before arriving at 59th street he comes on the speaker again.

“I’ll see you all in a week!”

I got off and 42nd street this trip as I was heading to corporate…and I waved to him and said

“Have  a great time!”

And I proceeded with my day feeling a bit better about humanity.