Aug 28 2007
Being a Mom.
I became a step-mother when I married my husband. At first I didn’t have much involvement in the kids lives because I worked every weekend. A few summers ago I took a month off of work and spent my weekends with my husband, MIL, and the kids. At that point I realized that I should be spending more time with them and changed careers to make that happen.
This summer we took our first family trip together. The kids went to my hometown for the first time, stayed in the house I grew up in, and in a more relaxed fashion…under the rules I grew up with. My father was very frugal…which in retrospect has rubbed off on me a bit…and even though we had everything we ever needed, excess was not a part of my upbringing. My parents still do not have cable TV.
Now, my step kids are used to excess. Their Grandmother spoils them, they have more “stuff” than I ever had when I grew up, and they have been to Europe a few times.
Being with them for a week was amazing. Both as a test of my parenting/patience and their respect for me. I have to say…MY KIDS ARE AMAZING!!! My step daughter could not have made a better impression on my family. Yesterday my Mom said to me on the phone “Norma is such a neat girl”. Alex went golfing and played ping-pong with my Dad…which I think both enjoyed equally. For me it is so cool to see the kids interacting with my parents. My parents who are so fantastic and have accepted the kids into their lives as if I had given birth to them myself.
My stepson then stayed with us for an additional two weeks in NYC. My husband and I took turns taking him to work with us. He was very helpful at my work and everyone that met him thought he was cute, sweet, and helpful.
The last day he stayed with us, he and my husband stayed home for the day. When I got home the dishes had been done and put away. Alex proudly told me that he had done all the dishes for me. I said thanks. Then, I went to the kitchen an opened the cabinet to get a glass…and realized that Alex had put all the dishes away WET. This struck a cord with me on so many levels. First this is the son of a woman with a restaurant…where he has done dishes…did she never tell him to dry them before putting them away? Second, I knew he was trying to make me happy…to do something I would appreciate. So, at first I think he thought I was mad and then I assured him that I appreciated what he did for me and that in the future he should not be afraid to leave them in the dish drainer until they are dry. When I was talking on the phone with my Mom I told her this story and she and I got a good laugh out of it.
So, last night after getting home from work, Alex called. He has a book project due and he left the assignment paper at our house (he had thought he would be with us another week) so I got on the phone with him and read the different parts of the assignment to him. Then I typed it all in an email and sent it to him. At the end of the conversation he said “I love you”. I said “I love you” back to him…and I meant it.